i just need to write post that I will elaborate another time.
once i started telling people my daughter has a brain malformation; she got hugs, kisses and i had 'good thoughts' sent my way.
from relatives, and others, now that she has a society acceptable deformity she was accepted into the world.
when i stopped talking mental illness, and talked up Chiari--well even my mother perked her ears after 8 years.
this is sick.
lindsay is okay in this world if she has a TBI [traumatic brain injury] but she wasnt okay when she was deemed childhood bipolar.
no one hugged me when i said she was in a psych ward.
they hug me when i say she has a brain malformation.
fucking assholes get your arms off of me.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
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6 comments:
I would've hugged you Stephany.
Be well...
I can feel your hurt and frustration. I am sorry. I haven't been around much- trying to stay off here I guess while Honey is home? I dont know. But know I am thinking of you-- I know you have a potentially stressful week coming up and I hope all goes well and you get some answers. Sending you hugs- the same hugs no matter the diagnosis.
Honeys mom
I would have hugged you, too.
Thanks for the nice comments everyone.
It is hard seeing people accept her now vs. "then". Examples: a few neighbors who witnessed her be brought home in a police car when she was delusional on 30mg of Zyprexa, Haldol, and other meds; now say to me "Oh will she ever do that again? " when she came home. NOW I tell them she has a brain malformation and they say nice stuff, and reference back to "the crazy day".
My mother: last year told me she didnt want any updates on Lindsay, and she asked me why I would want her home, [as in be locked in a psych ward forever].then she hears she has a Chiari and wants a prayer chain to "heal" her. She tells me I am not Godly enough, so this is why "you have problems". My mother will only see my older 2 kids all of these years.
Then my brother's daughter got ran over by a car. Close to L's age. I got flooded with email updates on how its so sad she walks with a limp now.
I couldnt take it anymore when I got another update that called for prayer for the Granddaughter with a limp; but was told prayers cant go out for L due to privacy laws.
[none of this makes sense].
Lindsay counts.
No matter what is wrong with her, so does everyone.
I am seeing first hand, how saying brain malformation and not mental illness changes perception; guess what?
It's the same kid.
Once I can write about it with a little more eloquence, I will.
thanks for the support, seriously.
--Stephany
I can't express how angry this makes me. It's completely unacceptable to shun a child (or an adult) because of a mental illness. How people don't see their hypocrisy when they deem a child worthy if she has an "acceptable" health problem.
I don't think I'm being helpful here. Sorry for the rant. I would have hugged you then, and will now.
(((Stephany)))
Aww. I heart both you and Lindsay. Bipolar or chiari
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