choices

people may wonder when i write about my daughter why she isn't home. over the last few years she has struggled and been through much in the psych system. in may of 2007 she had a rapid and severe decline, her physical health was jeopardized and she was at the ER for IV drips for dehydration several times. she had severe paranoia that anything to drink was contaminated, and she was in a crisis. she heard voices and ran down the road full of traffic countless times. her success now is based on choices. she has no 'order' to reside at the residential place. she's 21 and it's my job as a mom to promote independence, and she has a choice to be home, and that includes all of the things her goals are now. she succeeds with a large support team and with that in mind, i have hope she will be independent living one day doing things she enjoys. seeing her take steps to take care of self and taking care of her surroundings (making bed and buying a new pillow is a big deal) and the haircut a few weeks back is all part of seeing her take charge of her own life. it's not about just coming home anymore, a lot is at stake for her, i think it's important to treat her like the 21 yr old she is and support her in her choices. when she's home, for a visit it's always because she asked to come and it's always about 30 minutes. she's doing what she wants to do, and it's a determination in her that i see. she's been through a lot, and as a mom being in the places she's been i am grateful she isn't in a psych ward. i hope people read and understand how important it is for her to be in charge, and for me to walk alongside of her and not tell her what to do. it took me a long time to get to this point myself. it really is a new chapter and it's one so far that this is the longest stretch of time she hasn't been in a psych hospital since 2005. 17 months hospital free with freedom to do what she wants. it's up to her and that is a gift of empowerment a parent can give their grown kids.