monday ramble

this morning i mowed the grass, it helped to wake my legs up. strangely detached feeling, my legs this morning. i slept for nearly 3 hours sunday, for a nap which was really long, i must have needed it. mowing the grass is enjoyable for me, i like to think, actually it's mindless and allows empty mind activity time (lol) and now it's still 75 degrees this evening and a nice surprise for spring weather today, compared to the cold we'd had all winter. we took my daughter out and she is making progress because my friend is really helping her focus on independence and i am sure she is also responding positively to having more support and enjoying seeing mom and friend having fun and laughing, etc. she has increased social skills by actually eating inside of the ice cream place and also sitting at the table with us. before she would pace and not sit down. we went to a pet shop and we helped her pick out a few new clothes. she wears the same fleece daily so we are encouraging her to expand her wardrobe. i want to say that having someone positive in my life has flowed over to my daughter and it's wonderful, to feel like it's getting better all of the time. you know, it was really hard doing this alone for so many years. i like to think of myself and my daughter as springtime---kind of blooming. have you ever existed so long without real happiness that when it shows up it really shows you how much you were missing in your life? we all do have our own journey to take, but it sure is nice enjoying others while we are all on the journey and watching our paths together. i also was thinking how some people with high need kids or mental illness, have no money. some do, i don't. it's a whole new ballgame trying to come back from so many angles. but, when life was crap before, and a whole new fresh start has been gifted to you, there's nothing else to do, except look up at the glorious day's sky and say, "thank you" to the world.it's hard work, and one must work to meet goals. i'm thankful. sometimes, i do worry about the future, and can get all globbed up, worrying about bills and how i got to today, and what about my job, and it snowballs in my head. then i have to stop myself from that train of thought. the country drive was really pretty today, all green and trees blooming flowers, it was a nice day that's for sure.