wednesday ramble

well i walked into a piranha feeding frenzy when i picked up my daughter for the zoo. all of the staff bombarding me with lack of communication issues, such as when the blood test is, the whole thing. honest to God trying to work quality into a cheap-funded state system for care is doing double time. they pissed me off. finally got out of the gauntlet and headed to the zoo. it was a great day and it's a zoo my daughter hasn't been to since all of these hospitalizations happened, at least 3 or 4 years. she enjoyed herself, we saw a lot of smiles. it is a relief to feel the worst is over. though there is a lot of effort on all of our part to make it work, including my daughter who has her self to care for and basically take charge back. you know, i think it takes a lot of determination to come out of where she has been, and move past the trauma and start over. she's really coming back and today is proof. it was a fantastic sunny day today about 58 degrees too. we saw otters, beluga whale, penguins, walrus and lots of things. i could go on and on about working within a less than perfect, underfunded mental health system, and one day I might go for it. for now i think it's important for people to understand it's not an easy system to reside within, and today i wanted to scream. i can see how people fall through the cracks, become beaten down and give up and all the while on severe antipsychotics that slow their minds, create tremors so they can't hold a fork. it's not a pretty picture out there folks. my daughter is unique, where she is at she has support and we are not going anywhere, we work with her to become independent and give her hope that the world is an ok place to come back to. today was a good day for her, and she is just one person in a very big system. so many people won't see a zoo again that's for sure. not sure if many people understand that being on medicaid and SSI is living in low income status. these people don't have anything, clothes and things are a luxury. so is a day at the zoo. or even mc Donalds. i'm working within a system for support for my daughter and giving it the edge all people need: one on one individual attention and paying attention to detail of the person's life and for God's sake expecting high standards and goals. yes, i believe she should have a goal of having a job or school, even if she never does it, why not offer it? oh there are ppl that will never see anything but the 3 meals and meds a day then TV time. so in a system where people end up without family and friends, they end up without an advocate or support, and little hope for anything else. life is so much more than a pill to get well. this is a temporary living situation that i hope will expand into an independent one for my daughter that one day includes peers her own age and friends. we start here and now and zoo days and allowance days and all of that we do with her is her stepping stone towards gaining a life back.