better days

i have a note written on paper taped to the wall over my computer that says "better days". it's something i look at to remind myself better days do happen.


better days, lyrics by goo goo dolls

And you asked me what I want this year
and I try to make this kind and clear
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
'cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
and designer love and empty things
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud
'cause everyone is forgiven now
'cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I need some place simple where we could live
and something only you can give
and that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive
and the one poor child who saved this world
and there's ten million more who probably could
if we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words and sing out loud
'cause everyone is forgiven now
'cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
and somehow stop this endless fight
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud
'cause everyone is forgiven now
'cause tonight's the night the world begins again.
~
today is a better day. the visit at the hospital went smoothly, my daughter amidst the rambles did sit down and eat her snack i took her, and seemed perky. she handed me a stack of her written rambles and in the middle of it was a pink piece of construction paper with cursive handwriting, "I love you, Happy Mother's day". with a heart. i said, "did you make this for me?" she smiled and hugged me. there was a lot of the other side too, of the internal stuff in her mind, but hey one day at a time. i also cleared up the "mute as baseline" issue, via discussion with the doctor who assured me i didn't have to worry about her not talking, then looked at my daughter and said, "you have a good mom". it's a relief to know we are on the same page for her care, that's the goal. my anxiety driving there was large, but i kept deep breathing and telling myself the focus wasn't how the unit rules were going but about seeing my daughter. so today was a good day for the visit.