bus route

we arrive at the same intersection.

every morning for 38 days. stopped at the red traffic light, i see the bus leaving the area i have entered after a 30 mile drive. i have my thoughts going. short term thought is "do i get her an egg roll or a burrito?" "where is that mini mart?" i look on purpose to see a landmark due to having to make extreme right turns into the parking lot 2 days in a row. i see a color of a house and think, mint ice cream. yes, mint ice cream color is the landmark to watch for and it has worked so far. i found a place that has decent fried junk food for a decent price. it takes the edge off of the hospital food my daughter eats every day. today i passed that place for another one and brought her more food, plus a banana like every morning and a cookie from home wrapped in wax paper.

i get ready for the day and place a ponytail holder (elastic band) in my left pocket.

the elevator door opens, and i have taken a deep breath. holding the food in my hands, i am aware of the door opening and try and make sure i am smiling when it opens, God only knows what i look like, i hope it's pleasant.

i noticed the bus at one point, can't remember how many weeks it took me to see it. consciously noticed it this week. wondered where the people on the bus are going, and then i wondered if they ever thought that about me.

i think a lot.

"hey, want to put your hair up?", i say as i hold the ponytail holder in my hand.

she puts her hair up. we smile.