driving

i pulled over to the curb on the neighborhood street. she got in the car and buckled up and locked the door. i told her she wasnt being safe and drove her back to her residential care facility. she turned the radio up full blast. as i turned it down, she screamed, " you know when i'm like this i need a radio and i don't have one!" i made a deal to get her a radio headset if she stayed in the building, and the staff brought her a radio for her room. she's out of the hospital and she's psychotic, been risky outdoors. when she's psychotic she runs, walks, paces and now entering areas not typical. that's a long story short for how it's been non stop since discharge on tuesday. i hope headset keeps her inside tonight. i barely slept last night waiting for the phone call to follow the one at 930pm telling me if she walked away they would call the police. i want her to be safe. i want a lot for her. no one can live her life, just short of spending every waking minute with her, it's not easy. this is not a smooth transition. i've seen her this way before, and i just hope. i hope she stays inside.