sometimes i wake up after a less than restful night's sleep and see my hands methodically tying my shoes, etc like slow motion, going through the motion of getting dressed, get the snacks and the purse and head out the door. it was a really pretty day outside today, that i was able to see from the road as i drove. handed her the ponytail holder and she handed it to a patient that was hovering nearby, the man took it. oh well, no need for a ponytail today. she ate her lunch and then blasted out a few rants toward me some of it made sense some didn't. some times i want to say, "hurry up and get it together, get out of this place." can't fix anyone or make them be a way you want them to selfishly be.
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then enjoyed the afternoon at the dog park and now am cooking dinner.
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Years ago, I visited a friend in psychosis in the hospital, and I couldn't go back after feeling-seeing the horror.
He was like an alzheimer's patient. I don't know how much was psychosis and how much was from the "helpful" medication.
I don't know how you have the endurance.
You can't say "hurry up" as I believe the meds-drugs are actively inhibiting intelligence.
The games the psychtists play.
According to THEM, If you don't want to be there it means you need to be there. If you want to be there , it means you should go.
If you can't tell the difference???
How does your daught feel about staying there?
It is hard going there every day, yesterday when i left, i felt pretty stressed. she looks at me and words come out that are rambles like listening to a foreign language. i listen and interact and ask "what else?" "then what?" etc and she will answer w more psychosis talk. she does answer a few things, and can't get her to answer about how she feels about being there or if shes ready to leave. i dont think she really cares she is in her own world pretty deeply. i think its good for her to see someone regularly, she eats her food. ive noticed her being the most severe one there, quite honestly. but yesterday told myself that episodes pass, and that's what this is, i think. ive seen her like this off drugs and on drugs.
anyway thanks Mark, it helps to read your comment.
When my father visited me in hospital, we played card games.
Perhaps you could try that or something similar. At first it would be difficult to follow the rules, but in following the rules of a card game, one is slowly made to think logically.
This might bring psychosis into check.
You would have to take a (mean-grumpy) authority role, as if she doesn't want to play she wont, and wont improve, without your "power" of disapproval.
With successful card playing , THEN remard her with gifts?
Devils advocate...
Exactly about the cards, thanks Mark. ive done that last week one day, and ive seen exactly what you say happens. we just sort the cards or sometimes there is no point except to stack them and re-do it. also in the past ive read books outloud to her and that grounded her for a while. she wanders away and gets into "trouble" sometimes, (like clothing removal) so i try and distract her, but sometimes its clear she has no boundaries, some sort of free spirit thing going. problem is, other ppl see her, obviously. anyway, each day she is different, so i'll see how it goes today, after yesterday she was ramped up a bit.
Hoping and praying for better days Steph.
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