ambrosia, is this heaven?

this morning i took another container of my daughter's favorite fruit salad to her. she was very tired, groggy. they changed her room last night because she had an aggressive roommate prior--the one who elbowed her aggressively as she walked past our table yesterday. i had to report it to staff, my daughter didn't react and she should have at least flinched, or yelled for help anything. this raises my concern for her in a place like western, where i have been with her for 21 days 6 hours a day guarding her, literally, i was used as staff because they are short-staffed. one of the most violent predators got past me and the staff in 2006 and that's when i wrote letters and she was discharged with a letter of apology. letters of apology of bad care, from the one place they all get sent to, isn't a good way for this to be revisited.
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the fruit salad

one of the staff said she was asleep this morning, and another one went and told her mom was there with her fruit salad. she got up. "i feel like i am in a coma, in a permanent nightmare", she said.
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my daughter hasn't said much lately that makes sense, but hell that does. i told her we are there for her and she will be OK. she appeared disheveled and looked like she didn't sleep well. being bullied and having a new room doesn't help that. nothing does, nothing helps this. she is so right, this is a living nightmare.
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dear God

God, you can take me off of the trials and tribulations list now, i think i and my daughter both don't need to suffer or witness such pain anymore. if i am here to do something about this, please give me the courage, strength and words to change things for everyone in the mental health system here. Because, i have been given a job, and i take it seriously. i am a mother. and i want change.

i want my daughter well. i want a miracle and i think you can make that happen. you know the people, the outcome, i am just an instrument. give me grace when i feel anger. give me peace when i feel despair. give me courage when i have fear. give me strength when i am tired. grace me with the words of wisdom i need. give me the voice i need when i need it.

protect my daughter wherever she goes, surround her with angels and keep her safe. provide her with peace and flood her mind with love, and clarity. let her be, please. she is my youngest daughter, my bright and sunny child, my precocious reader. she deserves to experience more, and she deserves freedom from this grip psychosis has on her mind.

Amen.