bright lights to dull and lifeless, God help me

i've just returned from the inpatient locked psych ward visiting my daughter. she was calmer today, actually no words. no effect. she drank the chocolate milk i brought her, ate candy and some crackers and wandered back to her room. where i found her later, once i assumed she wasn't coming back out to visit. i wanted to let her know i was leaving. she was sitting on her bed, just sitting there. yesterday a new patient was very animated, almost annoying me getting to close to us, interrupting the time i had with my daughter. i admit the place starts to wear a person down, and i'm not even a patient. today that new animated patient was in a drugged stupor, pale and wobbly. it was just like i see every time someone enters there coherent, maybe a bit whacked out (honestly speaking here)but to see the answer in a drugged up stupor form, breaks me, it breaks my heart, my spirit, my soul. i sat there listening to a radio playing overhead and sat there wondering how the hell would i feel in there if i was a patient trying to feel better. it wouldn't. it's awful in there, and i am at a breaking point. i'm sick of the pharma insiders attacking me on various blogs and forums because my voice ruffles their stock market price ideals,(go to hell) give me a break we are talking about human beings. i won't give up, but let me tell you the system is shit, the care is crap and i wonder what the hell Obama would do if one of his children ended up like mine?!