there she stood looking out the window

after a very difficult morning at the hospital. she is being tortured by her thoughts, they are like super bad nightmares (as she described some) while wailing and sobbing and crying this morning. then i looked up from the parking lot after the visit and there was her face in the window looking down at me. God, really be still my heart, it's hard to not let it completely break. i told her she got through this before and she will again, and i have to tell it to myself too. it's dark and raining today, and it's just crap. i hate pain and agony she is suffering in her mind.