Claire writes the blog Life with a severely disabled child. i found this video on her blog today, it's from the Snowman. When my kids were young and even in their teens we would always watch that movie during the Christmas season. Take a few minutes to watch this magical scene and enjoy the music, it's worth it.
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One year, my oldest daughter's high school orchestra played Walking in the air . it was a magical moment, one of many that i have had raising my kids. Now, they are all adults, but those moments are never far from my heart, small things that happen in every day life raising children--driving lessons, choir and orchestra concerts, volunteering at the food bank can be life changing.
one summer, we purchased dozens of bars of Irish Spring bath soap bars so that each client who came for food would get a bar of soap in their bag. i remember driving the car to the food bank that day and my eyes were watering from the scent of the soap bars. another memory is driving my youngest who was purchasing dog biscuits for treats with her allowance to add to the pet kibble bags she filled for senior citizens every month. i carried on her volunteer position at the humane society for a couple of years without her, once she could not do it any longer. sadly, i gave up the position, one she was so proud of, because i couldn't do it all. that was hard to do, because it felt, at the time that i was letting her go too. in essence it was a chapter in her life closing, and the memories of her life before she became disabled are in my heart, safely tucked away for her in case she asks. she did ask this summer, when she started talking again. for a short time of lucidity she even asked me if her pet rat was alive. he died 2 years ago, while she was in the hospital that time. she asked me about a horse she rode at a local riding place, he's gone too. i often wonder about my daughter and how one would pick the pieces up from a life that virtually stopped at age 17. she did go back to high school, for a short time at age 19, but that 6 months was difficult for her. she was tested at 2nd grade reading comprehension and could no longer put words into sentences. the words would be scattered all over the paper. she never forgot who she "had been before", and i think it was devastating to her. this new awakening of speaking again has been a good thing, and sad too when you think about it, she is caught in between worlds of sort, and in a way that is, the cruelest place to end up.
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there are needs in this world, and some things that are so simple can be one, like that soap.
my daughters were and are always acutely aware of others around them, i am very proud to say they are my daughters. my youngest, has had a speed bump in life happen since august of this year, and she isn't alone.
she shares the locked psychiatric unit with other patients. some have gone onto the institution before her, some went places i won't know.
but, i do meet them again over time, as the system repeats itself over and over, with each day that passes, due to lack of quality out patient support services and housing.
in essence, this creates a family.
we are all a family, when we see each other in this system, and i talk of the patients.
i never meet their families, because sadly, it is a rare day when one comes to visit.
i see most of the families in mental health court, while they are there to testify that their family member needs to be committed. i always wish that i would see these people at the hospital, but they don't come.
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wherever my daughter is on christmas day, the hospital she is currently at, or if they transfer her to the institution, i will be there with her.
in honor of her commitment to her community of hundreds of volunteer hours of time from age 12 until she couldn't function any longer--i want to bring all of the patients something for them to have as a gift for christmas.
this has been on my mind a lot this week, that they need socks, or a magazine . something so simple--but mostly it is love, and acknowledgment as a human being.
i hope if anything, i can give that to them all on christmas day.
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