WSH field of dreams, and shoeless joe jackson

while visiting my daughter today the announcement overhead declared "the following people are eligible" for the 4pm "fresh air break". last name on the list, was my daughter's!

"she's been outside 2 times already", the staff said.

"what shoes did she wear?", said her advocate and friend.

"i don't know that wasn't my shift, they told me, i don't know", the person said.

i opened the door of the visiting room and walked to the nurse's station and said, "do you have any shoes?". basing this on my knowledge from the past, that the hospital provides athletic shoes, with velcro straps to patients. knowing my daughter arrived to the hospital on 12-21-09 in plastic slip on sandals, and the only thing she owns personally are pink fluffy slippers.

"what size does she wear?" i tell the size and they say they only have one pair of shoes left, and it was not her size, too small, though my daughter struggled to get the shoes on her feet they were too small.

"we won't have more shoes for one month. doesn't she have shoes at home?", the person said.

(no, she hasn't lived at home for 2 years and the shoes she had on her feet were missing when the police found her at 1am in october 1/2 clothed and lost, in 40 degree weather, story goes on from there, we all know it by now right?)

they rushed her to get the shoes on, the patients were waiting! oh, too late! another person walks in the visiting room, i asked where her pink slippers are, as i have not seen them on her feet since she arrived there, and wondered if they were lost. that staff went and unlocked her closet, found the slippers, telling us my daughter's key didn't work for her belongings closet. does she have a new key or not? what about getting her things out?

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if she went outside 2 times before today it was barefoot.

the patient has no shoes, could that now be handled? we have not even begun to talk about a treatment plan or mental health wellness goals, we are at the stage of what? take her outside? shoes? what shoes? locker key? what locker key?

i have decided to lower my expectations and walk my field of dreams where people have high standards, as high as my own as a mother.

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she enjoyed our visit, and i will be bringing her a ball to take outside, and i hope they have found WSH issued shoes by then, because what if i wasn't there to notice she had no shoes on? are they honestly saying they walked her through hallways and out to the outdoor enclosed area barefoot?

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Addendum:

IN 1998, at age 10, my daughter attended a girls basketball clinic. she is the one on the left in both of these photos, which are blurred due to a quick snapshot of the photos on the kitchen counter tonight.this women's basketball team is a part of the detailed fabric, so intricately woven before my daughter ever saw a psychiatrist.

Life was different then, and I wasn't bankrupt due to medical bills and out patient care for my daughter. (just in case anyone wonders why I do not have unlimited funds for private care or, at minimum, shoes. as a mother, this is an unfathomable topic. when others do care for my daughter, i expect nothing less than high standard of care, minus the red tape, etc.)

Advocate perspective with the humor that allowed me to hear my daughter's laughter after 3 years

find a tiny bit of laughter within the muffled darkness
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